In honor of the You Tube awards

In honor of the awards recently given on YouTube i would like to showcase some of my favorites.

The best comedy video:

Most Creative:



And best eyewitness video

These are just a few of the winners i checked out, but i had to cut myself off from the computer and walk away before hours slipped away.

I found a man's take on TWILIGHT

TWILIGHT FANS check out this funny blog about the books. His other posts are very funny too, there in one entirely about edward cullen. check it out.
http://mormonhusbands.blogspot.com/2008/02/twilight-series-for-dummies-and-totally.html

boys

Am i broken? I can't tell anymore if i like a boy or just like their attention. And when they give me special singled out attention i can no longer just go with the flow and enjoy it. I have this unhealthy need to categorize the attention they give me right away into categories in my mind, friend, meaningless flirting, or potential romance. why do i do that? is it a self preservation mechanism? What do i do? How did i get this way? I think it comes from being a "back burner" girl for so long i can't just let things be. I did let things be and i got burned and used. Back burner girl is the worst position to hold, the friend the cuddle buddy the shoulder to cry on, the entertainer, the listener, supporter and best friend. till someone "better" comes along. One too many times for me and now i am a little bitter and leery to trust. What do i do? Matt and Liz say be forward, upfront and to the point. This approach makes the most sense to me. Being forward lately has saved me a lot of time and drama i think. I don't want to hang in the "gray zone" of are we friends? or more? for too long. I don't play hard to get very well. I say what i think. But if i am forward "Date me, Choose Me, Love me!" (sorry couldn't help quoting Grey's anatomy) then doesn't that break the sacred rules presented in the "He's Just Not That Into You" book? If they really are interested won't they tell me? Lately i assume rejection right when the fun attention starts. This could easily mess up the possibility of good things even happening. Assuming rejection means i shut down and leave these boys alone having assumed things that probably haven't even been decided, or are just starting.
And there is Star's theory. All girls are cheap and easy when it comes to boy attention. Am i won over just by a flirting moment, a call to talk, a good night of laughing? Are these boys even what i want, or am i enchanted by the rare attention? A friend told me that any boy is lucky to hang out with me, and not me feeling lucky and waiting to hang out with him. I think we as girls quickly forget we are catches too. I know i do. I somehow always leave the ball in the boy's court. When i really play any sport involving a ball i am a ball hog. Ask my friends from 2nd grade and Four Square. So why do i let the boys have it when dating?
I am having a Carrie Bradshaw type blog today questioning myself and my relationship patterns. i don't really now how i got here or why i feel all these things. All i know is that since i have moved here i have felt that i have been standing right in front of amazing boys waving my hands frantically pointing to myself saying "something fun and wonderful is right here" and i remain invisible. I look at a few of my friends, and i can see them waving frantically too, also unseen. Not frantic to get married and have lots of babies just yet, but ready and willing to try a healthy adult relationship for once. There is no one to blame for all these feelings and thoughts, no one but maybe myself and my attitude. Am i once bitten twice shy? Or is this a deeper emotional dysfunction brewing?

down a cup size

I faced a harsh moment of truth this past week. I was laying in bed in my PJs ( the usual pj pants and my Sandia Matadors Football t-shirt with the collar cut off because i hate t shirt collars) reading. I was starting a new book called "Eat, Pray, Love" (check out goodreads.com)

I was just on the 2nd page when i was distracted by something. I couldn't help but notice the giant gap and void space in my bra that didn't used to be there. i quickly sat up, maybe it was how i was laying. Nope. I get up and look in the mirror, front view, side view. All around. extra space in my bra. Why haven't i truly noticed this before?

I have been working really hard at eating healthy and maintaining my eating plan this past month, and i had upped my exercise by like 100 percent these past 2 weeks. I was house and dog sitting and the cute golden retriever Caesar needed daily walking, so we walked hard an hour each day. With more exercise came more water intake too. I have been seeing results on the scale too, nothing major or drastic, just gradual and consistent weight loss. This makes me very happy and i have been working really hard and avoiding all birthday cupcakes in the staff room at work. But why should my chest be the one to take the brunt of this hard work?

I cannot rationalize it anymore i have to honestly go down a cup size. This is shocking and very upsetting to me. I know i know. hooray i have lost weight. I am very proud of myself but this down in bra size thing is scary. I have to go buy new bras this week, and be re-fitted. I have been this same bra size my entire adult life. But girls let me tell you there is no fudging anymore. the negative space within my old bra size is too much to try and hide away. i could fit 2 cell phones and my Zune, and maybe some lip gloss throughout the cups and no one would notice.

So girls tell me, why is this sparking a spiral of sadness and fear within me? I should be thrilled that i am working towards a healthy goal. That night when i was looking in the mirror i called my sister for emotional support. We are at the opposite sides of the bra sizes and body sizes. For graduation all she wanted was breast implants. I don't think she needs them, she some how got the cute well proportioned size 4 genes while i got the "plenty of me to love" side of genes in the Carrell pool. She told me it wasn't a big deal and that she is still smaller than i. Then she said "when i get implants i will go a size larger than you now though." No, that's not fair! I always had the bigger chest. That's the one thing i had. She has the cute body and great hair and I had the bigger chest. Will they continue to get smaller? My arms are smaller, and where they used to be is baggy skin and when i erase a chalk board or something i look like i have bat arms. I am losing my identity and shedding my old body image very slowly but yet enough to where i am freaking out. I joke about it with my room mate when i showed her the shocking vast wasteland in my old bra. But honestly part of me is freaked out, and for the 1st time ever I not excited to go to Victoria's Secret.