weigh in this morning. no change from last week, i weigh the exact same. this is no shock because i didn't exercise at all so it is expected, and the weekend had many cheating opportunities to which i succumbed once or twice. so i am at peace with this, but know to work on upping my exercise this week.

this week i had another chat with my friend who is trying to stay in the cage herself. we talked about the "ideal guy". we didn't see eye to eye on this. see i realized something when i started weight watchers a year ago. i realized and decided that i will never be a size 4. its just not in my making. i am working hard at losing weight, but not to be tiny. i just want to be healthy and happy. honestly just being down 2 dress sizes is a major accomplishment, so when i can fit in to regular jeans that don't involve a special clothing section in the store most of me will be happy. i have no desire to be a size 4 either. what size i want to be stems from my years of devotion to any and all rock Hudson and Doris day movies.

I love all rock Hudson and Doris day movies, they are charming, classic, funny and racey. my ideal guy and my ideal self come from one simple scene in the film "lover come back". Doris Day and Rock Hudson wake up after a night of being unknowingly intoxicated to find themselves in bed together and with a marriage license on the night stand. shocking i know. the best part of this scene is that rock Hudson is wearing his pajama pants and Doris his pajama tops. that is dramatically romantic and from my first moment seeing this, alli want is to be able to fit into the pajama tops of my ideal boy, and he in the bottoms. this isn't far-fetched or unreachable at all. i think it is very reasonable and could and will happen. even now as i am, as is, when i am looking at boys i think of this goal, would i fit in his PJ top?or would it be so tight that the buttons are strained and i look lumpy and uncomfortable instead of cute, cozy and happy. its where i draw the line. there are plenty of boys who are dreamy and charming who's pajamas are too small for me. i don't care really. how awkward and weird if i were this giant big girl next to a scrawny boy. no dice. i really don't even harbor the thought of a boy smaller than me very long, because if i cant fit into one of his PJ tops or shirts i am not interested. is that vain? harsh?weird? tell me because i find this little Doris day rock Hudson day dream to be perfectly applicable and legitimate to me.