top 5 game

time to add a few new top 5 lists to the mix, it has been a while since i have played, feel free to list your own. these are random categories and in no random order

top 5 Broadway musical soundtracks

1. wicked- kiss me too fiercely hold me too tight

2. Les mes- on my own pretending he's beside me

3. west side story- a boy like that who killed your brother forget that boy and find another

4. phantom- come we must be gone, those two fools who run my theater will be missing you

5. spamalot (funniest by far)- you wont succeed on Broadway if you don't have any Jews

top 5 football teams i am watching this fall

1. raiders, i feel like they might step up this year if they ever pick a QB

2. broncos, for my mom, they are her team

3. 49ers for my brother, his team

4. lobos, home team

5-Utah, local wicked cool team

top5 most amazing experiences of my year to date

1. having my feet in the sand and sea of both pacific and Atlantic ocean this year

2. holding my niece ruby elizabeth july 25, 2007

3. seeing a production of "wicked"

4. Holli Krishna festival with star and Wendy, dang amazing, but then its a toss up between that or using the fireman's pole at Russell m nelson's family cabin during bollywood film festival

5. hiking the Mayan ruins in Mexico

top5 movies i have seen this year, released this year

1. transformers, more than meets the eye

2. hairspray- a very fun up beat film version of the great Broadway musical

3. bourne ultimatum, which i called bourne collateral damage for like 2 weeks cause i could never remember the ultimatum part

4.stardust- robert dinero as a gay sky pirate, need i say more

5. secret movie that is my secret favorite movie of the year but wont tell unless asked, and it depends on who is asking, i refuse to be openly mocked.

Large group of women in confined spaces

Sunday mornings have always felt different to me. No matter where i have been in my adventures Sunday mornings have always seemed unique. The sky and air just feel and look softer and the sunlight is more peaceful. This morning i woke up in the middle of the buzz and bickering of all my co-workers packing up their clothes and sleeping bags. Friday morning we as a staff left Salt Lake for a retreat out by Flaming Gorge recreation area. It was supposed to be a 3 hour drive which turned into a 7 hour drive to due the error of map quest. i didn't mind at all because i was one of the 3 drivers, and my car was a pimped out Yukon with a great sound system and smooth ride. I cranked up Timberland's new Cd and put on my 7$ sunglasses ( i never pay more than 10 bucks on shades because i loose them, it never fails)
When its a car full of girls on a road trip you
usually end up talking about everything twice and boys the rest of the time. I enjoyed over analyzing boys for the whole ride up, it resulted in much contemplation about boys in my own life. Its fun to tell your boy stories and then go around the car and see how the others respond. I was left stumped this weekend when one of my friends told me that i don't really like any guy in my world right now, i just like the attention they give me. wow, that was interesting. how do you know when you really do like someone genuinely or if you just like the attention they are giving you? this was very insightful. The weekend continued on this way, girls with no make up talking about boys and past loves. Once we hit Wyoming there was an immediate liquor run, and then we slowly descended into the flaming gorge area. I have never seen water that clear before, or such a contrast in sharp color between the cerulean water and the orange flame rocks. we got to our cabins right as the thunder and lightning surrounded us. We were rained in and there was nothing left to do but team building activities. personality tests, problem solving, brain storming, team work building a bridge out of 3 pieces of paper and a few paperclips that could sustain the weight of a hot wheel as it crosses successfully, and so on. when i first pulled into the cabin i knew i would want to take a lone walk around at some point this weekend and pick some thistle flowers and climb some rocks. We went to vernal the next day to find some ancient Fremont petroglyphs which were awe striking. We hiked and climbed boulders around the old soft markings left behind as old as 1200ad. Since i was the driver i had us stop briefly at the Vernal LDS temple. i wanted to walk around and see it and just feel the different reverences between the sacred Fremont cliff markings and the peaceful grounds of the temple. We rented paddle boats that afternoon out on the lake. i am so clumsy and ended up in the lake more than the paddle boat, no surprise. i snuck out of the group around sunset and drove down to the dam to see over the edge and look down the canyon. I was impressed with the sharp colors of that canyon, the green river at the bottom and the overpowering cement wall 435feet tall above me. i have no idea how that dam harnesses power and converts it to electricity, i need to find out how that works. Anyway the day ended with fruitless fishing attempts and white wine and Malibu rum being passed around. this just caused more bickering and commotion for all of us girls who by this point were getting a little snappy and edgy toward each other. Some people wanted to fish some more today others wanted to leave 1st thing in the morning and the drama ensued. I woke up today and didn't want to be in the middle of the negativity. i put on my flip flops (shoes were soaked due to the paddle boat incident) and went for a walk. i found a bright orange rock off in the trees and took a seat. As i looked around i really could feel it was Sunday. I thought about how usually this time on Sundays i was in panty hose and a dress in church with a hymn book in my lap doodling pictures for my room mate star, because i listen better when i doodle pictures. This morning was very different, i had spent the weekend outside and was tired, a bit grumpy and was wearing soggy jeans that smelled like lake. I was still in my PJ shirt, an old Jerry rice 49er jersey i stole from my brother a few years back. It was the only shirt left that i hadn't gotten wet or sticky with melted marshmallows. I was home sick for my usual Sunday yet it was so nice to feel a mountain breeze and pick some flowers today. I love that you can feel the difference of a Sunday even in the middle of the woods. I wanted to stay and hike around. i had wanted a longer peaceful moment, but my friend started to yell "Marco" in my direction from the cabin and i had no choice but to yell "polo" and be found and go home.We loaded up the SUVs instead and headed over the dam for some photo ops, and headed home. i don't know if we team built or really made goals to make our staff stronger. i know new friendships were made, old ones tested and i also learned that a large group of women in one cabin could also be the premise for a reality show. I had a great little get away but i look forward to my usual peaceful Sunday this week.

tangled web of dreams

Some people suffer from reoccurring dreams, i have heard of this often actually. i have a friend who has this horrible nightmare of a tornado that rips her home into tiny pieces, and she has had this dream over and over again. i have never had the same dream more than once. i dream every night. i can remember most of them too. they are usually completely random like hiking the La Luz trail with my 10th grade algebra teacher, the guy at jiffy lube and the stay puffed marshmallow man. I often dream about what i am worrying about while i am awake, school, work, boys. No matter what my dreams include whether it be me and star in a submarine at the battle of gettysburg or my little brother wearing a hockey mask in sacrament meeting my dreams always incorporate spiders. It is really weird. Spiders appear in one way or another. One might run across the screen of my dream, or i might come across one in a web some how, or i might find one on my lap while i am flying an F-16 to idaho. There is no theme or method. i am not irrationally afraid of spiders at all. Not that i like to share a shower or a bed with one. I am irrationally afraid of cockroaches and just the mention of them now has made me take my feet of the floor. Spiders i can bear. But why do they continue to show up in most of my dreams? what does this mean? there has to be some symbolism behind that somehow right? i have tried to find interpretations online but the good dream web sites cost something or involve voldermort's magic and are dark and twisted. There just has to be a reason behind it. i have no particular interest in them as a species, nor do i harbor any unhealthy attachment to them or men bitten by radio active ones. Tarantulas, black widows, giant spiders like that of "THE IT" or the ones that almost get frodo, the venezuelan ones that suck blood like in "ARACHNOPHOBIA", they have all made cameos in my dreams. so tell me what does this represent? what is my subconscious saying to me? cause i can't figure it out and am left puzzled, no tangled in a web of my dreams. that was total cheese i know.

the FZ

the friend zone. my friend samantha calls it the death zone. I have come to realize that in the world/game of dating there is a small window of oppritunity between and girl and a guy to date before one or the other is put in the friend zone. I myself have both been put in the FZ ( many a times) and put a few in the FZ. it is a dangerous dance, the interaction before the FZ catigory is applicable to the relationship. I have come to realize that this window of oppritunity is very slim, like when you barely crack the bathroom window after a shower to let the steam out, that tiny. from what i have seen and observed, it is within the 1st few interactions in small hang out situations where the destination is decided by either the boy or the girl. friend zone or date zone. it sounds severe i know but from what i have seen this is true. One of my guy friends told me that there is no friend zone with men, merely a ladder, where a girl can climb up or down, up being a dating level down being a friend level. From what i have seen and felt tis not so. With in weeks of group hang outs a guy (or girl) will catagorize the other in their mind into or out of the friend zone. I think climbing out of the friend zone is a rarity as well. I dont think the friend zone is death really like sam says. Its not pure rejection to be put there. The guy or girl still values you somewhat enough to want to talk and intereact with you, just not in a romantic way. Now girls who secretly harbor false hope always just slowly damage themselves if they try to remain friends but still have romantic feelings for this boy. It is a slow painful torture as we kid ourselves with this false hope into thinking "someday this boy will come around and i will fly out of the friend zone like a bat out of hell." No dice. and i am sure it is the same way with guys as well. Actually i dont really know. When the day is done, and the dating dust settles, you gotta decide if its worth being in the friend zone at all, if thats no where ideally you'd like to be. I have learned in my experience that if you like a guy, and it isnt reciprocated, it isnt the best idea to be in the FZ. It is best to cut chords and see what else is out there. i have learned this through trial and error believe me. There comes a point in a girls world and soul when she has enough guy friends, and doesnt need anymore to add to her collection. I dare say it is worth the risk ladies to give the guy a green light, if he doesn't go for it, and jump on the oppritunity to date ya, then honey you gotta be honest with yourself. (and this works for boys too i'd assume) come to terms with the fact that he just isnt that into you. Embrace the learning oppritunity, put on your vest and stick out your chest and be off to the races again(newsies). If you are stuck in the FZ and dont want to be, then this other person hasnt realized the amazingness that is you, and most likely wont. So dust it off, remember you're worth it and let go. It can be a fun roller coaster ride the FZ, but sooner or later a girl wants to get off the kiddy train and head to space mountain.